Discomfort in Art

Over the past few months, I've learned to push myself out of my comfort zone in art and in my life. Some of these times, events happened outside of my control which forced me to go out of my comfort zone. I do not think that being thrust into the unknown will ever get easier, but I have learned some valuable takeaways from these experiences.

Someone asked me recently how I got into making art. I generally tend to respond to this in two ways. First, I often say that I've done it all my life, which is true. Occasionally, I follow that up with an explanation of how I fell back in love with creating art a few years ago when I was making fanart and doodles to accompany my writing. I have an old blog post about that. However, when I look at my art now compared to what I made when I began this website I can visually see the vast transformation in skill and influence. The process of experimentation and going out of my comfort zone absolutely affected the art that I create.

Painting something new often goes poorly for me. I might envision a scene perfectly in my head or even have a reference photo of a place that I captured which I want to recreate, but it's hard to translate that accurately to my paintbrush. It is a frustrating part of the process and something that I encounter all of the time. Trying it out is worth the disappointment though. I don't become a more perfect artist just from gaining more experience from creating, instead I continue to grow into my own art style.

Bordering is something that I greatly enjoy studying and experimenting with. I am especially in love with the Flemish styles of the 15th-16th centuries from Bruges. I am still struggling to create border art that I'm happy with and I've been practicing since 2020. Sometimes an element will go great like with this painting where I love the top part of the border but am not as proud of the sides and bottom of the piece. It is hard to finish something that I'm disappointed with, but it helps to look back at these examples to remind myself that I can always remake it in the future or at least know how it felt to put it on the paper so that I can improve that technique later.

We are currently in December, and at this point in time I am finished with my autumn studies in my senior year of university. I am at a point of contemplation, thinking about everything that I've learned and dealt with this year. Art is my primary form of expression, yet this year I also have had to be vulnerable in memoir assignments and poetry workshops. I've had to deal with uncomfortable health crises and been by the side of loved ones that have passed away. I have faced the harsh reality that my birth country is waging war against Ukraine and I've seen the damage that it has caused on both sides. There are all forms of uncomfortable situations that have occurred both in my creative sphere and out in the real world that I have no choice but to confront head-on.

Art is a way for me to cope with these difficult situations but that never means that art in itself is always a comfort. It can stir up deep emotions and plaster sensitive traumas on the outside for everyone to see. It requires patience, practice, observance, and dedication. I still stand behind my belief that anyone can make art if they have the means and support to do so, and that art can look like a million different things. Yet art requires human courage when an artist dares to go where they haven't been before. Once they've gone there the first time, going back isn't quite so scary anymore.

~Nikolai Sergei Razumov